Thursday 29 May 2008

The Monster Beneath My Bed



"When I was a little girl, I was convinced that there was a monster that lived under my bed. No amount of cajoling or reassurances from my parents could convince me otherwise. I had not seen the monster, and I had not heard the monster . . . but to me he was very real. I felt deep down in my heart that he was there, waiting under my bed . . . and what’s more, I knew his dietary habits.

This monster was not just any old hungry monster. He was a monster with peculiar tastes. He loved to eat children and stuffed toys. Right from the tips of their toes and on up to their necks. That’s where his culinary appetite stopped. He could not abide eating heads. He thought heads were yucky. In fact, he thought heads were so yucky that he would not go near any one that he could see. He would not touch a head with a ten foot pole.




Laboriously, night after night, once my prayers were said, I would line up all my dolls and stuffed toys in the bed next to me and make sure that the covers covered them all the way up to their heads. My sister with whom I shared a bed with, and who had already been in bed for an hour or so and was already laying there fast asleep, got the same treatment. It was almost a ritual for me. Lining everyone up and making sure all their tasty morsels were covered . . . I would lay there in the darkness afterwards, very still, wide awake and quite sure that I could smell his monster breath, lingering right there under my bed, all the while being very careful that none of my own delicious bits and bites moved from underneath the covers, or showed, until later, at some point, I too would fall asleep.

I have no idea of how it all started, and I have no recollection of when it finished . . . this fear of mine. I do know it kept me in my bed after dark for years and years, on up into my early adulthood. It took all the faith I had to be able to kneel next to my bed and say my prayers, and once I got into bed, I did not move out of it, not for anything. Not even the need to go to the loo or wanting a drink of water could make me budge from my safety zone, all because of the fear of something I had never seen or heard, with only my imagination making him real and something to contend with.



The thought comes to me this morning, that . . . in this lifetime of ours, many of us still have monsters under our beds . . . things that keep us from moving around in the dark, and causing us to protect all our tasty bits, for fear of being found out or of losing them to some imaginary demon. This fear of the unknown, often prevents us from realizing our full potential and our dreams. It prevents us from stretching beyond our safe little circles, and perhaps even means we are only living half the life we were meant to live . . . and all because of something invisible . . . some fear that probably exists only in our imaginations. One wonders at the potential we could have if only we were able to throw caution to the wind and break free from our cocoons, flying out into the unknown in faith and in hope . . .

I reckon I live a pretty charmed life, this life of mine. This life . . . these experiences . . . they are things I could only have dreamt of as a child . . . much nicer thoughts than monsters under my bed. It suddenly occurs to me, that I have learned to take my tasty bits out from under the covers. This life I am living is solid proof that I have flown in the face of fear and conquered my imaginary monsters, for if I hadn’t, I’d still be alone and working in a donut shop back in Canada, for the equivalent of £2 an hour, and dreaming of how much better things could be. Yes, I have been blessed, but it took courage and faith for me to be able to take the steps necessary in order for heaven to be able to pour those blessings out upon my head. It took me believing in myself and putting all my monsters to rest, and stepping out into the unknown with faith both in myself, and in my God."

This was a re-print of a writing I did on my muses back in December. I am slowly moving some of my better pieces over here so they don't get lost. Hope you don't mind. If you've already read it I apologize, and if you haven't, then I hope you enjoyed it!



Thirty three years ago today, I was in the hospital getting ready to give birth to my oldest son. I can remember being very exited! I was only nineteen years old at the time and so incredibly naive. What a wonderful journey it's been these last thirty three years, watching my baby boy grow from a child into a man and now a father. I'm so proud of him, as indeed, I am of all my children. He's a wonderful son, a great husband and a fantastic father. I hope that he has a lovely Birthday today and that he knows how much I love him and all the good things I wish for him.

One of the things I fell in love with when I came over here, was Cheese and Onion Pasties. I had never heard of cheese and onion anything before and was a little bit reluctant to try the flavour combination at first. It was in a sandwich, and I can remember thinking how very weird it was. You could say it was "love at first bite." I was hooked with the very first mouthful, and it was an easy job to move on from a sandwich to a pastie and so on. I had some pizza dough I needed to use up the other day and so I thought to myself . . . why not a cheese and onion pasty pizza? Why not indeed!



*Cheese and Onion Pastie Pizza*
Makes 1 12-inch pizza

I had heard of potato pizza before and as potatoes are my favourite vegetable of all time I had longed to try it one day. It was a simple stretch to combine the flavours of a cheese and onion pastie and turn it into a pizza. I hope you enjoy this as much as we did.

Pizza dough for one pizza (click on the link for the recipe)
prepared Caesar Salad dressing
4 cups frozen hash browns, thawed out and crumbled
2 ounces strong cheddar cheese, grated
2 ounces red Leicester cheese, grated
2 ounces mozzarella cheese, grated
2 ounces freshly grated Parmesan cheese
6 spring onions, chopped
fresh wild rocket leaves (arugula)

Pre-heat the oven to 200*C/400*F. Lightly grease a 12 inch pizza pan with vegetable shortening and press the dough out onto it to cover and fill it, making it a bit thicker at the edges and forming a rim. Place it into the pre-heated oven and bake for 8 to 10 minutes or until set and dry to the touch. Remove from the oven and spread with about 1/4 cup of Caesar salad dressing.

Place the crumbled hash browns in a bowl along with the different cheeses and the onions. Give it all a good mix and then sprinkle it over the partially baked crust, spreading it out evenly. Drizzle with another 14 cup of salad dressing. Return to the oven and bake for 20 to 25 minutes until the potatoes are lightly browned and the cheese is bubbling. Remove from the oven and let sit for a few minutes before cutting into slices to serve. Top each serving with a small handful of rocket leaves and drizzle with some more salad dressing.



PS - The winner of my Make Me Bake Poll this week was the Triple Strawberry Cream Pie. Yumm!! I will put up a new poll shortly for next week!

14 comments:

  1. I had my first when I was 19. Hannah.... she was 9 pounds 8 ounces, 3 weeks early, and I was in labor for FORTY SEVEN hours.

    I am *still* afraid of the dark, to a certain extent. Some time I find my pace quickening as I walk down the hall. I remember taking a flying leap to land in my bed, when I was a kid....

    Very insightful post. You're still one of my favorite reads.

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  2. Pastie pizza - Mmmmm yum! Looks great Marie - I will have a go at that!

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  3. I always think there are ghosts watching me in the dark, particularly if we're in an old house or something. I was so scared of spirits that when I was little, I used to place my shoes at my bed. One shoe's toe would point to the left, the other to the right. It was like an invisible girl in 5th ballet position. I had read a book that said it would keep evil spirits away, so I did it. Sometimes I still find myself leaving my shoes that way....

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  4. Yum, yum, yum! That looks so good, Marie!

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  5. Wise words. I felt encouraged by them. Thanks Marie.
    Happy birthday to your son! :)

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  6. Marie your son is a nice man and have a lovely mom!! Good whishes to him!!!Happy Birthday!!! So nice you remember all!!! xxxGloria

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  7. Pastie Pizza - you could start a new fad!! A recipe after mine own heart, that looks wonderful!! Great post, I remember when I had my son, he was 10 days late, I thought I would never have him. I went into the hospital in labor on Wednesday morning at 8 AM and he was born at 7:16 Thursday night.

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  8. Hi Marie
    I loved the piece about being afraid of the dark. You are a talented writer, a talented cook...I wonder what other talents you're hiding from us?
    All your recipes look so good, but we are eating healthy because of cholestoral and heart health issues so everything you make has too much fat :( at least I can enjoy looking at them!
    Hugs, Rhondi

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  9. I had some time to really look at your website today. I loved your sweet quotes from Presidents Hinckley and Kimball, plus all of your writings and spirtual insights. What a beautiful and inspiring blog! There are so many of us LDS bloggers out there!

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  10. We are back home from our Utah visit. I miss my Utah family a lot but it is also good to be back home.

    As always, I love your analogy. All of your posts are so uplifting.... and I've never heard of a cheese and onion pastie but it looks delicious. I am anxious to try it. As you can see from my blog, we tried your rhubarb pie. It doesn't look quite as pretty as yours but it was great tasting. Lynell did a good job and her dad was delighted.

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  11. Who ever knows what gets into a child's mind or how or why. We had a monster too, who lived behind a not-very-high cupboard that stood corner ways in my bedroom. I didn't think it would eat me, I was just terrified I might see it in the dark! To this day I am a little bit unnerved by furniture placed across a corner.
    Will somebody please tell Keith to stop drooling over my shoulder at the recipes!
    love, Angie, xx

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  12. What a great idea, Marie. I didn't use to like letting my arm dangle out of bed either, for the fear that something would come out from under the bed and bite it.

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  13. great post! i live in fear of a lot of things and its true how it can hinder your growth. you can't let your fears overcome you or you can never accomplish the things the Lord has in store for you in this life and/or in the life to come.
    happy birthday to your son! what a cutie his son is:) and also me oh my, i'm in love with that pastie. i will try it very soon! it looks delish!

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  14. I can imagine the terror you felt kneeling to pray beside your bed just waiting for the monster to reach out and get you! :)
    XX

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