Friday 27 June 2008

Embracing the "You" in You



“Conformity is one of the most fundamental dishonesties of all. When we reject our specialness, water down our God-given individuality and uniqueness, we begin to lose our freedom. The conformist is in no way a free man. He has to follow the herd.”
~Norman Vincent Peale


It seems I’ve always walked a few steps out of beat with those around me. I’ve always been a bit of a rebel, but not in a bad way. I guess some might think me a bit odd. I suppose it’s that oddness that opened my heart to this weird and wonderful church I belong to. When I am at church and I see those around me and ponder their unique ways and personalities, I can see that we are all a bit odd, but in a very beautiful way. I’m really quite glad that we are.

I went through a period of time when I was a child at school, and especially in my early teens, that I got teased and bullied mercilessly. I think it was because I was different . . . because I didn’t fit in the same as the rest of them did. I suppose that it was the wolf pack mentality of the others, the law of the herd, that made them feel the need to weed out all that were different, or that they deemed as somehow being weaker. Quiet and sensitive, I was probably a sitting duck for all their slings and arrows.



Looking back, I am quite glad that I was different and I’m glad that I was strong enough to withstand their aggressiveness. They say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and I truly believe that through those hard years I learned a lot about compassion and forgiveness for others, and about tolerance and endurance. Thankfully, we moved after a few years, and so the teasing and bullying stopped, but I still carry some of the scars on my heart and in my mind. They are a part of the fabric of who I became and who I am . . .

In my later teen years, I did follow the crowd a bit, all the while trying to maintain as much of my uniqueness and individuality as I could. I was everyone’s friend, even those that nobody wanted to be a friend to. I always had great compassion for those sorts of people, having once been ostracized in much the same way. Besides, secretly . . . deep down, I knew I was still one of them and had just not been found out yet. As I got older too, the bullies were fewer and far-er between . . . and most of the people I knew were starting to strike out a bit more as individuals anyways.



I guess I’ve always known that I was special, even if I didn’t always act like it. I may have taken a lot of abuse from my ex husband, and perhaps I even felt for a time like I wasn’t worth not taking it, but deep down I think I knew that I was special, but I allowed him to squelch it through the years. Every once in a while though, this unique person that I was would stick it’s head up above the mire and wave it’s arms. When you are busy raising a family and taking care of a home, you hardly have time to think about your own needs and wants, your days are so full of taking care of others. It's quite easy to get lost in the business of the needs and wants of others for a time. And as a mother, how can you do anything but?

In my later years, I have come to realize just who I am as an individual, and to embrace that unique and wonderful person, and yes . . . celebrate her for who she is and all with her differences and various talents. I am a special individual, unique in all ways, and I love who I am and who I’ve allowed myself to become. I still walk a few beats out of step from everyone else, but I am quite proud that I do. I love that I stand out in a crowd. I’m still a bit of an odd duck, but I love my oddness. It works for me. I have come to recognize my God-given talents and embrace them, explore them, use them . . . I relish every opportunity which comes my way to share them with others and to help them in some way, if I can and if they'll let me.



I look at my life like a huge piece of embroidery that I have been working on for years, quite different than anyone else’s, but every bit as beautiful and even more so in some ways for it’s individuality. I have stitches here and stitches there, it’s randomness creating something quite wonderful and unique and special, this tapestry of my life. I suppose when it’s finally finished I will be able to look back and count all the stitches and be quite proud of my accomplishment, but in the meantime I’m just enjoying creating it, in my unique and beautiful way.

Just my thoughts this morning . . .



It's strawberry season here as I expect it is in a lot of places in the Northern Hemisphere. I love strawberries. As a child, I spent many hours in the strawberry fields under the hot sun picking punnets and punnets of delicious berries, that my mother would later make into jam, but in the meantime there would be lovely things like bowls of fresh strawberries, still warm from the sun with cold cream poured over them and delicious strawberry shortcakes . . . One year, when my own children were growing up, and we were visiting my in-laws on Prince Edward Island, we took them strawberry picking for a morning. They picked about a dozen punnets of their own and we set them up a strawberry stand at the end of the driveway. They had a great time selling their berries and were thrilled when they got to sell several of the same boxes more than once! Generous neighbours in that neighbourhood of elderly retired people, just wanted to pay them for the joy they received in watching these hard working children revel in their accomplishment, whilst learning the value of hard work. I wonder if my kids ever think about that afternoon like I do . . . happy memories.

They are getting quite cheap in the stores just at the moment and so I picked up a punnet yesterday so that Todd and I could enjoy a couple of these last night as an early summer treat! Ahh . . . watching the film Braveheart, whilst supping on a delicious homemade strawberry milkshake . . . bliss . . . he might be a bit of a kook, but the sight of Mel Gibson in a kilt gets to me every time . . . hmmm . . . I wonder if I can get Todd to run through the house wearing nothing but a car blanket wrapped around his waist yelling "They may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom" at the top of his lungs??? (the thought boggles the mind!)



*Strawberry Ice Cream Shake*
Serves 2

Life couldn't get any easier or any tastier . . . summer in a glass.

225g of strawberries, washed and hulled and cut in half
300ml of cold milk
3 large scoops of vanilla ice cream
an Extra two strawberries to garnish (optional)

Tip all the ingredients into the blender and blend until smooth and creamy. Pour into tall chilled glasses and garnish with a whole berry.

Sup and enjoy.



PS - This is a piece I posted orignally on my Muses page back in November, well except for the strawberries that is!

13 comments:

  1. I was in an abusive marriage, and at times felt 'worthless' It was stated we hadn't any friends.....'because of me'.Funnily enough.after divorce(25yrs),I'm still in touch with mutual Friends.
    Not drowning, but waving!
    Aileen....X

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  2. My husband lives for strawberry milkshakes!!! :-)
    What kind of flower is that last white one? It is so beautiful!

    I love your posts Marie and look forward to them every morning.

    I hope you have a wonderful day!

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  3. Marching to the beat of a different drum. I have felt like that all my life, too. Never quite fit in. My parents always taught us to cherish individuality, to do what we knew was right and do the things we liked, whether the crowd was into it or not. I used to think I was adopted for a long time, because I am so much different even than my brothers. Loved this post, really spoke to my heart! It was great talking to you on MSN yesterday! Sounds like we have quite a bit in common! Don't work too hard today. Those milkshakes look scrummy!

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  4. I think, for many different reasons, most of us have accepted abuse in our lives, when we wouldn't have otherwise. Abuse is a very complex disease - it changes a person, both the abuser and the victim. It's very frightening.

    I often think about being a mother. I have a very strong sense of self, and I haven't been driven to make sure my unique presence is always evident to other people. For the main reason that I love myself, I know who I am, and I love being a mother, and I am more then content to fulfill that role in my life right now.

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  5. Marie,Marie, dear Im listen you and remember other persons and me too in some situations, when I was a child in the first School that I was I feel different and have problems, later I was other school was better but in different groups or times I feel that some people don't want the same things that you (God, simple life etc.) so they fight with you or ...ignore you ! I LIVE THIS I know but I feel God is with me and I suffer feeling alone sometimes I have wonderful friends in simple people and family,is not easy but God made us, so how you say I think is a broderie too that He work in us.
    We have a song that say "how the clay in the Hands of the Potter" sorry if my english is not correct ("como la arcilla en las manos del alfarero) if somebody know spanish, is a beuty song.
    A big hug to you Marie and Im happy you have now a lovely man with you that love you and tak care.
    Cheers by this with this lovely strawberry's milshake!!! by you!!!Gloria

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  6. I'm so glad for the oddness of everyone around me-myself included. I love people and am interested in everyone. I love the quirks and idiosyncracies that make us all different. How boring it would be if we were all the same.

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  7. Dear Marie,
    I am thankful for your unique and different talents because you bless my life everyday. You say that you are a bit weird.....well, I'm a bit wacky...don't you think we would make a good team???

    I have a request. Take pity on your ignorant....and/or wacky... American readers and translate
    225g strawberries and 300ml milk
    into pounds and ounces so we don't have to find a conversion table to figure it out. Belive me, we can't figure it out in our heads.... which isn't fair...why are we out of sync with most the rest of the world??.... who decided to make us different??.....why don't we use liters and grams and milligrams and centimeters and kilometers???

    Oh, well, I guess I won't fret about it. I guess we are just being unique and individual which according to your post today I should try to embrace....but is it o.k. if I grumble a little bit???

    By the way I got through the last session last night without dosing off and falling off of my chair.(which is a good thing since I have to sit up front and everyone would see me). So, it turned out alright that I stayed up late Wed. night so I could say good morning to you.

    Love ya, Lura

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  8. I honestly believe we ALL have insecurities. After 9 years of teaching high school I've decided that even little miss popular is so worried about maintaining her "status" she will lower herself to picking on the underdog just to stay on top.

    Re-living high school through my adult eyes has been a huge eye opener. Why did I care so much about what other people thought? What a waste of my time!

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  9. I have been buying strawberries for weeks....so yummy. You sparked a memory for me also, of going to Tennessee and picking them at my Great Grandmothers farm...fun times..

    You need to go get Todd a piece of plaid fabric, then ask him to run around the house (hehe)


    Love to you from this side of the pond Marie.....

    Michele

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  10. I think many of us can relate in a huge way to this post, Marie. All my growing up years I felt very much different than my peers for many reasons. I was the typical "nerd", not at all Miss Popularity. It was hard making friends when kids whoud shun you just because you had brain and used it well and for good. I grew to appreciate who I was becoming though, but it took a long time. And now in my mid-30's I'm glad I never strayed from being true to myself. Hope all is going well there this week, my friend. I know it's an especially busy on for you. Be taking good care...Hope you can relax at the weekend! Just can't wait to see you next week--counting the days! Love you heaps! ((BIG HUGS))

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  11. I snorted with laughter when I thought of Todd running through the house in a car blanket. The poor man looks so good natured and peaceful it's hard for me to imagine him with a fierce expression and a war cry. But if he does it, please get photos. I'll probaly pee with laughter.

    And you are special! I think it's wonderful you're so confident in your talents. You're such a remarkable lady and you bring joy to everyone's life who you touch. I'm glad you finally recongized you were much nicer as yourself than someone else. I know my life would have not been as delightful.

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  12. The thought of Todd running through the house yelling "Freedom!" is more than I can take! LOL

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  13. The idea of Todd doing a 'Braveheart' had me in stitches. Would he, do you think? It would make a great photo!

    I used to get bullied at school too. You're right, kids always treat 'different' kids badly. Vive la difference, say I!
    love, Angie, xx

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